Well, it's nice that you can give different names to the goal from what people are hoping is mutual with the other person but I'm finding this judgmental stance is not delivering logic in the reality of this and is blaming the person whose anxiety is getting triggered by this person who may have things in common but seldom attach is basically blaming a victim with no connection techniques by basically telling them they shouldn't want anything from those they get closer to.

As far as this "the less attachments you have business" I'd say NO. The people in my life who treat me that way are in my mind, are the ones who feign closeness and never make more of it, because they don't attach, or they attach to very few and don't learn why they only have 2 real friends and the rest are hangers on in their life who want more but have no idea how to make it better and those people aren't helping them. They're pretending to be open to make the best connection but the minute they see anything that makes them less entertained and less comfortable, that person is at arms length, often with weeks or months before being told what happened and why, and possibly never.

You're acting as if never expecting anything from anyone can somehow help you get to the better person. It can't. It just leads to more events where energy is wasted while trying to put up a front that says you don't' care too much. It's learning how to make the present connection more inviting so they want to nurture that is the thing people want to know. How to connect on their values instead of interests and to find those core values quickly. If your values align, then you will have mutual points of interest.