Some of that comes down to education level though. A professional woman is very likely to date a teacher or a skilled craftsman and figure out the numbers later. Some women do have the requirement that they want someone who makes enough to fund a few months off or possibly a few years off once a child is born, but that's more likely to be a non-professional woman who would put that solely in a man's hands. I don't know ANY women who think of what a man does in terms of numbers and what he makes, but the lifestyle he brings with him. If he's a guy who brings a middle class lifestyle with cookouts on Sundays and a job that he likes and makes him know interesting things, for many that goes a lot farther than an investment banker with tons of cash.

I have also never met any man who was concerned I would leave but they did like the idea of having control and feeling they could have the final say of how money was spent.

It is a HUGE mistake for a man to not care about what his wife or GF does, and maybe this speaks to your own values and NOT that of all men. What she chooses to do with her life is an expression of her values. This is square 1 of who she is and paying attention to her looks over that is a huge mistake.