She did already give him the experience of being a stepfather. It isn't exactly the same but has many beautiful pieces of it, pieces that will always be cherished and cement him as part of that family, forged over years of love and work. I dont' think she should feel any more guilty than any other spouse, man or woman who has to put the brakes on more children. Sometimes you only get one when you want a hockey team. At that point, it's time to chase other dreams together.

I have friends where the father can't provide sperm due to childhood measles (they think.) Both ran a daycare for years and are now foster parents. They are not sure if they will sign up again after their 9th foster child leaves but they want a break before making future plans and this possibly last child will be going back to his bio mom soon.

There are many ways for them to have a fulfilling life together. I'm heartened to know that he doesnt see his wife as replaceable.