People who are neuro-divergent often appear to be anxious attachment types when they aren't. So they keep attracting the avoidants because they don't know how to send the correct signals. They may feel fine about themselves personally, but have less understanding of how to portray that when they have anxious chemicals governing other behaviors, but not thoughts or feelings. That's why this "fix how you feel about yourself and the world will fall into place" stuff often doesn't work.