Most people think a hyper kid is a hyper kid. are you sure that in a majority of cases, most were probably thinking, "Oh, looks like he snuck some sugar out of the pantry today, he, he, he!"

I don't know how bad your mother in law is, but I also have had the experience of knowing people who were well meaning but had no idea what you needed. And it sounds like you judge yourself immensly even now. It's possilble she sees your anxiety and has no idea what to do with it if everything she's said makes you more upset, positive or negative. You probably didn't want to hear this, but I'd hold back on making her the only actor in the play here. You may project a lot of your own thoughts onto her.