Most friends I know who are husbands are in two categories, they participate every day in caring for the kids from laundry to lunches to baths, homework etc, or they pop by after work and rest until something can't be done by the wife, then they swoop in and declare themsevles heroes for a few minutes then go back to rest, leaving wife to a majority of tasks. It's group 2 who tends to be the ones who use the word nagging. They do important work but they don't do as much and then they get annoyed when asked to do more, discounting the value of the constant work she is doing, usually after her own day job. So if nagging is happening, then both need to be conscious about what the other is doing and what's reasonable to ask. Either could be underestimating the other's work or have items that they could switch to make both feel better about what's being done. But nagging is a symptom of a problem that needs solving. Just telling her to stop asking doesn't fix the underlying issue.