I'd agree with that. Just telling people not to discuss when someone seems to have a recurring problem that may be based on not facing their part in the situation is where it gets sticky. Sometimes it is the wrong person who tells you something you need to know, if you''ll listen.

I had a lady on here talk about her autistic and possibly ADHD but social child using the words like freak show, and all about how people were supposedly horrified by her kid and judgmental and the same of her mother in law. The activities she described were pretty normal things that happen when you put a lot of sugar in a child, nothing disruptive ,abusive, bizarre or to write home about. When I voiced disagreement and the possibility that she's having too much of her son's behavior reflect upon herself and she was adding fear to her judgement, I was told I was gaslighting. I was doing nothing of the sort, I said, please step back and consider how your fears are adding to your thoughts. And that most parents are far more concerned with their own children. That's hardly a round of abusive statements. I can't roll in good conscience of her badmouthing her kid like that though. And knowing someday that poor boy could read it.