I think that the notion that your ideas are "more sophisticated" when you're aiming at the idea of not talking about issues is actually the opposite. But one thing you CAN do is call it out when someone actually is gaslighting or denying your experience or looking to be passive agressive versus simply disagreeing with an approach. Saying "I think you're saying that because you don't want to care about my problems" could solve a lot more than not talking about something or encouraging not talking.

Again, I came from a pretty healthy environment. And it's weird to me that people often apply rather awful outlooks to these things people say when they actually mean well as opposed to when they want to minimize or control you. People who understand how to love you want you to take your hardships well, they don't want you to be in distress all the time and they don't want you to think the world is against you.

The reality is, sometimes the world is against you, no matter how good your goal is, but that's a discussion for another time.