I don't think every time you disagree with someone's perspective and say so that you're gaslighting. Maybe some of us who are a bit older are just tougher that way, disagreement is allowed even if there will be no consensus and it's not considered wrong to say it out loud. Just not too loud.

I keep hearing about these intensely passive agressive people and am happy they aren't in my home and have never been there.

Now in the case of something like racism, it's harder for the person not experiencing it to pinpoint why people do things. It's probably more racism than not if they think that's what they're seeing. So yeah, in that case, or abuse and similar items, I'd trust, but quietly verify if it's needed. Interesting statements.