I don't know. I feel like his sacrifice to his career by staying home was pretty serious. He probably DID need the 20K as a smaller amount to get some freedom and self-expression. I do feel like as part of a couple, she could share a portion, but the lion's share should be hers. Usually when someone is the breadwinner, while they do pay more into the family pot, they also have more power to spend, more often than not, on personal desires. Everyone looks at this differently and it's important that when it comes to the big stuff, you generally agree on these items. I'm definitely from the school of putting everything in the pot, and each getting an allowance from it where money can be saved and spent without questions.