Hi Liz,

Sorry, this is really long. I doubt it. I certainly think most people who see themselves as racially different would expect others to recognize it, or else you're basically telling them they don't exist.

People are generally able to pick me out as a Jew even if I don't discuss religion or obvious cultural things. If I do act in a normal fashion, it takes usually one conversation or someone hearing my name to figure it out. This is not as lightning quick as someone's skin, but it's quick enough to be discriminated against. Literature from the 20th century certainly discussed the idea that we're unmistakable. Are we? Not entirely. But when you're a part of a group that's nomadic, you do tend to have an unusual mix and are different from many around you.

My brother is fair haired, blue eyed and has an Anglo name. You couldn't pick him out. People have always treated him better, even as tiny kids. I know there's a difference and it's big.

But now a lot of people out of nowhere insist that we're White and that we live normal White experiences including tons of priviledge. This is not so and has never been so. We're probably treated better than some, very likely, but it's more due to having a powerful minority with lawyers and professionals than any sort of racial support or actual love. People like us when they need us, and then don't associate closely as they do with their own and some truly do hate us. If I talk about my own experience, people try to gaslight me saying "She sounds like a victim" or "It doesn't matter because my group is treated worse" or something. My attitude about it doesn't matter. What's happened matters and if I tell people what's' happened to me in my experience as a Jew, I expect my experience to be considered valid on its own. It sucks that people like Whoopi force me to fight for that.

It does not add or subtract from anyone else's experience.

I'm on the spectrum and sometimes talk like an engineer. Even I know that there are certain subjects where you must speak with more compassion. I've had people freak out on me for discussing why someone closed their Match.com account without making a connection to them.

I don't know if everyone does, but I know the names and faced in my family who were killed, and the ones who escaped, with and without numbers on their arms. I know the names of the ones who fought and died in the wars from 1900-1950. Hearing someone talk about it as if it didn't really happen hurts or as if they're talking about unattractive animals in a cage hurts. It says as the new book discusses "Jews Don't Count." to them.