Good article.
I don't think you have to be in a better emotional state to help someone else it just isn't fun to do it when you need help too, at least not at first, then if the other person is grateful in the way that you need, it can help your mood too, then both of you are in a good mood, if you need strategy help for you, then you can ask. Once the work is done, it's time to reward each other!
If you're not getting enough support, you have to voice it early on, or you won't know whether your partner is nurturing enough for you, or can learn how. Perfection is BS, and sometimes one of you will have a longer period of trouble, but effort is golden, just ensure you're giving and getting. Sometimes you won't be able to meet person's needs and that needs to be OK too. One thing I've learned is if someone loves, you, there's a lot more room for error and learning.
Most women I know don't expect the guy to make as much or more, (I'm sure there are some, but I don't know them) but he needs to be generally responsible, smart enough to hold a meaningful conversation and to have his own thing he's good at that's valuable to you both, and as you said, having complimentary skills is a huge plus.
Being adjustable to what’s needed (not necessarily wanted) and still keep some of himself so there’s a piece of the interesting, exciting guy she got involved with and yeah, openly affectionate and just as interested in her life and past times as his own, is a requirement that’s not going away. THIS part I seldom see in men my age or older but I often see in men younger than myself, but not all women see that the interest is THERE, so if you’re doing the work but it’s not being seen or remembered, I’d change the approach so that interest is more obvious and listen to how they talk about it for clues.
Men have traditionally been the stars of the show and they often didn't grow up seeing the equitable partner paradigm, so they don't know how to navigate it. Talking about it, and showing it as building process you're doing together is important and that can give you more to succeed with here. Not everyone is a fit though, and we need to be nicer to each other when that's not the case.
Now women need to get used to hearing that they also need to suck it up sometimes. Absolutely they should be heard but no one gets what they want 100% even with Mr Perfect man.
