Families set up these traditions, and some never think to revise them. My parents have switched cooking and cleaning roles a few times in their life, especially upon finding out that while my mother felt the grind of cooking daily, and loved to cook for big groups occasionally, my father saw each try as another amazing new experiement. At this point, my Dad is the primary cook and loves it. We kids were always expected to share jobs no matter what occasion. Did you ever talk about what happened directly? Could the women have a day when the men are doing the work to compensate? Sorry, my brain always wants to fix everything.