But you're not telling her she's fat, just being fat is a symptom of the issue, an internal one. She has a food addiction that could not only bring her misery and pain from the damage it brings to her body, the bad feelings and lost opportunity, but could also deny her the opportunity to see her kids do things like graduate from college, and have kids themsleves. He has to say he loves her to the ground sick or healthy, but it's his job as a husband to try to help her be healthy, and happy, so HE can have her when she gets old. F*ck the outer body pressure thing, stick with health and care and love.