And men don't do the same thing? Dating is a painful process and people are pretty disrespectful for those they don't see as a diamond of the first water. Why bother to pick someone you're not really interested in? OLD gives an illusion of choice that isn't really there. While fewer men do it now, many exclude quite a few great options because she's only 5 years older or 7 years. But, men have more things they can do to make themselves attractive and also have more years for when they're considered to be in their prime. Most women are willing to date someone who may be closer to average physically if their moments with him are especially good. That's where real-life, offline opportunities come in. I'd be focusing on that, unforgetable moments, great ideas, things that show you really "get" who you want to date. That's what gives you an edge. And no, I have no interest in being anyone's 2,3,4,5, etc and I don't know any other women who see the point. Most women who get involved with Poly get out in a few years. It's entertaining to try it, but not to grow old that way.