Not just respect, respect PLUS daily action.

An interesting question. I think they can be gendered but they don't have to be. It more matters that both agree on the roles and acknowledge te value of said roles, and that both see the other as giving enough.

In olden times, men primarily did larger, brawn-based jobs and women did more detail-oriented things at home, but even then there were people who functioned outside of those roles for whatever reason. If a man went off to war, there were only women remaining to drive a plow or carriage as needed.

A scholar, who was primarily male, may not have had the time to do things like patch a roof, but it didn't make him less male or less the leader of a family.